You really coming over, don't trick.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
