return my video game
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
