Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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