the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
