Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
