what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
