Dual....:-)
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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