I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
