if i can run in heels then i can drive
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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