Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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