Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
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If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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