cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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