And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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