So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
