just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
