your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I still have a little drunk in my system
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
