i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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