Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
