ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
