im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
