don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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