I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
