when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
