Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize