just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
