I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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