I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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