thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
