it hurts more in the daytime
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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