There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
