youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
