How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You pole danced in your parka.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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