Yo dont text me then not text me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
