How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
