We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
