I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
