Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize