I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize