Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My dick has a subreddit
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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