He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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