please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
