Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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