It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
