I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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