its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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