i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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