My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
