My hand turned me down
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
