i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
