Yo dont text me then not text me
Life is so much better after having sex.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize