Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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