Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
