like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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