Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
