She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize