Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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