you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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