And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
