youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
