like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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