awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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