White coat. Heels.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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