At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There's always time for handjobs
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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