You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize